You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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