Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
