No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Randomize
