Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Randomize
