And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Randomize
