what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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