I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
