Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize