Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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