Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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