I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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