i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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