im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
