I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
whose parrot is this?
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
