You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
