Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
