New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Randomize
