Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
