i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
This toilet bowl is my home.
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