Christians are straight up FREAKS
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
