She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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