just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Randomize
