You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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