it was like eating out sand paper
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
