I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
