After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
