my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
