Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
