I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
