I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
