you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
