you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Randomize
