It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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