Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
