i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
