So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
