dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
