Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
