She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
