Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize
