dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
