I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
