I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
