But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
