Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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