WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
