i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
