He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize