I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
