All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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