Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
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