dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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