I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
