pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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