That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
