i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
