That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
God, I missed his penis.
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