So gin and wine won't be happening again
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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