How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
