that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
