so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
