Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
