the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
