You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
