I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
