i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
