You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Randomize
