if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
