I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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