And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
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