Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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