so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
a search helicopter?!
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
