My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
