You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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