Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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