ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
